Where Do We Go From Here?

More than just a poppy tune from the classic episode of a cult TV show, the title of this blog asks an important question of myself.

One that I've pondered many times over the last decade or so.

When I broke into wrestling in 1995 the thought of still lacing up my boots and getting into the ring in my late 40s seemed preposterous. Hell, as I turned the corner on 30 I'd started to refer to myself as the "Old Man" of the Central Canadian circuit.

Oh hubris … you cruel bitch.

The fact is that I've had many milestones and life events where I figured - this is it. This is the time to quit. Now, in this moment.

And somehow - for some reason - I persist.

I have nothing left to prove. I have few challenges left to conquer. I have a decent reputation amongst my peers across the industry for those familiar with my work. Moreover, I have no illusions that one of the major wrestling companies will suddenly pluck me from the indies and offer me a lucrative deal to perform on the road (Though, if anyone from WWE / AEW / TNA are wondering - yes, I would consider an offer.)

During 2 years of COVID Lockdown I - like many - put everything on hold, obviously including grappling in close quarters with other people in front of crowds. In many ways I thought for sure, this is the end. What would I come back to?

And for a time, I thought that was the case. I was wrestling, but not particularly enjoying the process. In fairness, I wasn't enjoying many things in my life at that time. Wrestling amongst them.

But now?

Man … I'm having fun again.

What Billy Blaze and his partners have done with @BlazeProWrestling has been so encouraging. Investing in presentation, product and most importantly - a legitimate facility to have regular training sessions has been a game changer. Having the privilege to lace up my boots and work with some hungry up and comers, polish the rough corners of some more experienced types, and just work on myself and my game has been so rewarding. 

Yeah. It's harder at my age. Yeah. I'm beat up and heavier than I was in my youth.

Turns out though, I'm having more fun in the ring now than I've had in maybe a decade or more.

So. Where do we go from here?

First stop; "Blaze Pro Wrestling's: No Regrets " Feb 28th, 480 Tissot St in Winnipeg. The BPW

The BPW Founder, my recent rival but better friend Billy Blaze and I will be taking on Big Cliff and The Masked Menace in what should be a violent, final encounter. Big Cliff has been a thorn in my side for months now, so... it's time to end this. 

Other standouts on the card? BPW Provincial Champion MENTALLO will defend his title! El Blanco Diablo will face veteran Bobby Collins. Plus, Cory Diamond, fan-favorite Mustachio and more will be in action!

At the event you'll have the chance to get your hands on print copies of my debut novel COWBOY ENDING that I'll be happy to sign and personalize for the CanLit Urban Fantasy reader in your family.

Also, the anticipated OUTLAW 30TH Anniversary Shirt will be available in Limited Sizes - thanks to Cory and the crew at Floodway Print Co for their continued quality work and service. 

After that?

Well, I've been enjoying dusting out the brain cobwebs by working on my blogs (this one and of course the War on Dad Blog). While it's nice to have these going again, the purpose is to get the ball rolling forward on the 4th Book in my Overdrive series. For those who've been waiting? I'm sorry. For those who haven't been, hey - I also write books!!

Finally - because Gods Hate a Coward - I think I'm actually gonna pull the trigger on launching a podcast. For the longest time I've hesitated thinking it was too hard, I don't have anything to say, there are too many podcasts … All of that is nonsense. I like to talk about the things I like, I know many people who'd like to talk about them with me on occasion.

So screw it.

Keep an eye out for "Ringside Ramblings with Adam Knight" where I'll talk about the creative process, people on a fitness journey, and of course what's happening in the world of pro wrestling. The goal is to launch Episode Zero by the end of March. So please, be sure to give it a Like / Follow / Subscribe and all that other online stuff.

So yeah. That's where we go from here. The "Back 9" of my in ring time continues so long as I keep having fun.

And I'm having fun.

AK

Top 3 Book Recommendations for September 2023

As I slog through my life and begin to get back to work on my own creative endeavors it seems fitting to take time to plug and give thanks to some of the other authors and creators who've helped to inspire and entertain me during this phase.

#1 Don Winslow's "The FORCE" is a harrowing tale of corruption, violence and intrigue within the politics and police of New York City. Unlike anything I'd ever read before and I absolutely could not put it down. Hit the link and Order your copy Today!

#2 "Why We Love Star Wars" by Ken Napzok. An absolute must for anyone who grew up on any version of the stories told in that Galaxy Far, Far Away. A series of essays and ideas inspired by all things Star Wars, an emotional deep dive on themes and scenes that stick out for us all, and an excellent insight into the mind of someone who found resonance in these iconic tales.

#3 "Everything Fat Loss: The Definitive No Bullsh*t Guide" By Ben Carpenter

Those who are into fitness and weight loss know full well just what a minefield the social media influencer landscape can be for all kinds of topics. Ben Carpenter is a no nonsense voice of reason within that space and has made it his mission to debunk the bullshit and give only the straight goods. This book is backed by hundreds of studies (that you can actually find links to and read for yourself) making it for my money the best and most complete book ever written on this topic. Please order yourself a copy today!

That's all for today. See you again in October for more recommendations. 

AK

The Phantom Menace: Seeing it For the First Time

This blog post is in honour of a recent “deep dive” episode of the ForceCenter Podcast where Joseph Scrimshaw and Ken Napzok spent almost 2 hours recalling their experiences back in 1999 surrounding the days leading up to the release of Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace. Their feelings leading up to the moment it arrived, their theatre memories, the people they saw the movie with and of course their feelings about the movie and the fallout afterwards.

In many ways while this was also the “Rebirth of the Skywalker Saga” it was also the actual birth of “Toxic Fandom” culture. While in 1999 the internet was much more “dial up” than accessible at 5G’s the fact remains that chat rooms, message boards and early blog sites / webpages quickly became filled with hot takes, vitriol and fan fictions from those of a certain age who declared loudly “This isn’t my Star Wars, George screwed us all!”

Now while I’ve never been fully on board with that mindset there were obviously periods over the past 22 years where I’ve had some similar thoughts, criticisms and issues with the Prequels in general. Plus certain parts in specific.

Thankfully as I’ve advanced into the early Qui-Gon phase of my enlightenment I have a much more patient and nuanced opinion of the things I had taken issue with and am very comfortable in saying that “I love Star Wars: All of It.”

But let’s not stray too far off topic.

I remember waiting breathlessly for the Phantom Menace trailer to load over my buddy’s dial-up internet service provider back in 1999. There were a few of us early 20s fellas and one girlfriend crowding around that big tube monitor begging the QuickTime player to finish buffering so we could scan every second of that super high res / ergo incredibly tiny version of the trailer.

And it was glorious.

When they announced the on sale date for tickets plans were made to camp out in advance, not wanting to miss the opportunity to see Episode 1 as early as possible to avoid spoilers. Clearly I was not alone in this idea. While I am a die hard Star Wars fan I will never be quite so hard-core as the fella known only by the moniker of “Rogue Leader” who set up his tent, portable TV and cooler (with the permission of the theatre) a full 5 DAYS before the tickets were set to go on sale.

Regardless, there I was the night before with about 60 people deep in the lineup (which we all christened “Mos Shanty”) along with my Boba Fett obsessed buddy Dallas and a few others who popped in and out over the night to deliver pizza, drop off money for their tickets (we were allowed a maximum of 10 tickets per person after all, had to get that in advance to reserve their spot) and generally have what I’ve always presumed was a super toned down version of what a music festival would be like. People had their VHS’ out on portable TV’s watching their favourite Star Wars moments. Several others had their Star Wars Trivial Pursuit games going. More than a few were having mock lightsaber battles.

It’s funny, I remember being about 4 years into my pro wrestling life at this time and definitely NOT telling any of those guys about the plan to camp out and wait. I was already having a difficult time adjusting to that crew of dudes, which was as much on me and my residual high school nerdy traumas as it was on some of those guys being complete asshats. I also remember being a combination of excited and frankly kind of embarrassed when I showed up to stake our claim in line for those tickets.

An important lesson was learned that night that I hope never leaves me.

Its okay to love the things that you love, and you’re not alone in loving those things.

Obviously this applies to almost everything.

The morning when tickets went on sale naturally turned into a shit show. At least a few hundred Johnny-Come-Latelies showed up about an hour before the doors open and tried their best to jam up the entranceway thus circumventing the orderly if erratic line that was queued almost all the way around the shopping mall where the theatre was located. After a bit of legitimate pushing and shoving cooler heads ultimately prevailed. Also the Cinema Manager came out with a bullhorn, alerting everyone that he’d called the police and that they were going to be serving people in the order that they actually arrived.

Huzzah.

I think all told I had been at the theatre waiting approximately 20 hours. It was well over 24 by the time I’d secured the precious paper slips for the 11:45PM showing at Silver City St Vital in Winnipeg, Manitoba.

I still have those stubs somewhere in my office. If I find them I’ll update this and post them.

But this was still like 6 weeks out from opening day. I now had the hopes and dreams of 10 friends / coworkers / an ex-girlfriend and the girl I was crushing on in an envelope in my bedroom. I’m sure I checked to make sure I had that list of names and those tickets at least once a day until the day in question.

On opening day one of my best friends (and the guy who convinced me to give pro wrestling a try) Chad and I had an early morning audition at the Da Capo Studios in downtown Winnipeg. Both of us were underemployed wannabe actors / wrestlers and thought we had nothing to lose going in and reading for an animated project that was taking advantage of Canadian Tax incentives by offloading some of the voice talent to unknown Canucks who couldn’t even get their ACTRA Cards (FWIW – we didn’t get the parts and 20 years, several short films and at least a dozen extra gigs and still no ACTRA Card …. Sighs).

I remember hopping into the Blue Whale (Chad’s dilapidated, sky blue 1970s station wagon) and the two of us chattering like idiots the whole way into the audition, the whole time we were waiting and immediately once again after it was over.

All the way back to the car we couldn’t stop recklessly speculating about what was going to happen. And then mid sentence I realized something.

The (now repurposed) classic theatre known as “The Garrick Cinema” had its main doors open.

It was 10am.

Curious we walked in.

There were 3 people on duty. The manager, a concessions clerk and the usher.

“Yes, we’re open. First showing of The Phantom Menace is at 10:30.”

Astonished at our impossible good fortune we immediately did 2 things.

I immediately purchased 2 tickets.

And then we sprinted back to the Blue Whale and put enough change into the metre to make damned sure we wouldn’t get towed.

The Garrick was a special cinema in the old style, complete with a balcony. Which of course we took advantage of, sitting in the absolute centre seats with our soda, popcorn and complete disbelief at what was about to happen.

10:30am on the dot the lights dimmed and we received a private screening of the Phantom Menace on opening day.

And we loved it.

The rest of our day was a constant discussion over things we had issues with, story ideas we’d gotten wrong and more. But there was no question that we loved it.

And of course as we met up with the rest of the crew at 11PM leading into the midnight showing that of course I’d been so precious about, we had to repeat the story of our good fortune endlessly to anyone who would listen.

Don’t worry. No spoilers.

Of the 2 opening day showings I saw I can’t really determine which one I enjoyed more. While the private one at the Garrick was special, most of the experience washed over me. Taking me back to being 7 years old and wanting to hide from Darth Vader beneath my father’s winter coat.

The late showing was special for the sheer presence of all those excited people, crammed into the Silver City Cinema shoulder to shoulder. Some in cosplay and more than a few early branded lightsabres were up in the air. However the rush of excitement and the wall of sound from the collected throats of everyone cheering as the “Lucasfilm” logo hit the screen and sustained all the way into the opening crawl is something I will take with me forever.

In the weeks that followed of course the discourse began. Most of which I won’t repeat here because why retread old ground? But you know the stuff I mean in regards to casting choices, dialogue, midichlorians and our favourite Bombad general.

It was during this time that I should’ve learned the second lesson, one that didn’t actually sink until 2015 after I had the pleasure of seeing Episode 7.

Not everyone is going to love what you love in the same way that you do, and that’s okay too.

All told, I saw The Phantom Menace at least 5 times in the theatres and have both my pan-n-scan VHS copy as well as the DVD, though if I’m being honest I watch it more often with my daughter now on Disney+.

And yes, she loves Jar Jar.  

Of course, so do I.

Thanks to everyone who’s popped by Reading & Wrestling over the past few months while I had nothing new to say. I’ve been working pretty hard on finishing my first “Overdrive” short story and hope to have it edited and properly shaped for public consumption by the end of next week. Once done I plan to release it on this site for free for all to read. So, “you’re welcome” if you’re one of my regular readers and “I’m sorry” if you’re only here for my upcoming Indy Wrestling posts and adventures.

Speaking of that, I’ve accepted my first pro wrestling booking in one calendar year. November 19^th in I will being working for legendary promoter Tony Condello at X-Cues’ Dining and Billiards here in Winnipeg. I’m told it will be an action packed card with 5 matches. Everyone one the crew and in the crowd must show proof of vaccination to attend. Please contact Mr Condello for ticket information at the phone number on the poster.

AK

Check out the consequences my main character Joe goes through in my Urban Fantasy OVERDRIVE Series at the following retailers. Available in eBook, Paperback and Hardcover.

AMAZON  KOBO  B&N  SMASHWORDS  SCRIBD  APPLE

Also, please consider supporting your favourite Wrestler today by visiting Pro Wrestling Tees and browse to your hearts content. Just, while you’re there, consider looking at my site first willya?

Bucket List Opponents #ShootingMyShot

So now that we sit here in Mid August of 2021 I am (for the first time in a year and a half) beginning to examine the potential for wrestling shows once again. Actual ones in front of real live people. While travel in Canada is a bit less difficult now than it was before and our vaccination numbers are rising every day I am personally feeling much more comfortable about heading out into the world without as much fear of bringing the virus back to my loved ones.

As such, the question must be asked: at my age and level of wear and tear, how much tread is left on these old tires? Can my body handle the rigors of in ring activity? Will the travel (should I choose to make trips of course) be manageable on my joints?

We all have a “Bump Card” and I’ve tried to be more selective in the last few years of my run about where I spend those precious impacts. Because while I could easily modify my in ring approach to be a bit less physical, rely more on posturing and promos and request a smaller opponent base to work with and likely extend my in ring career for a number of years… that just wouldn’t feel honest to me. I’ve never wanted to be one of “Those Lazy Old Fucks” who just coasts on tricks and gimmicks to get by. If I truly can’t deliver a match up to a level that I’m happy with, then I refuse to subject my efforts to a paying audience. They deserve the best for their dollar.

So with that said, this got me thinking about whom I WOULD like to face if I had my druthers. As such I’ve put together a little list. Not a fantasy booking kinda list, just a realistic compilation of fellas whom I believe I have a realistic chance to step into a ring with were things to line up.

These gents are in no particular order:

Shaun Moore is a mainstay on the Canadian Indy scene at the moment. Well travelled across several provinces and based out of Saskatchewan. It’s been my privilege to have shared a locker room with him on a few occasions though our paths haven’t yet crossed within a ring as of yet. I want to rectify that and test my mettle against his skill and technique. Plus I think our discrepancy in size would lead to some fun dynamics and storytelling opportunities.

Alex Hammerstone is a freak of nature. I first met #YBH during an overstuffed battle royal taking place at the Cauliflower Alley Club Convention back in 2016 or 2017 (?) and had a laugh. Since then he’s gone on to be a major player for Major League Wrestling in the USA as well as enjoying success with Pro Wrestling NOAH in Japan. A powerhouse wrestler with an amazing dropkick and excellent in ring presence. Definitely someone I’d love to lock horns with.

My buddy Arik Cannon has done a masterful job with FIRST Wrestling based out of Minneapolis for many years now and has been a staple of the MidWest Indies for almost 2 decades. We originally crossed paths for a spot show in Fergus Falls, MN in front of legitimately 11 people. One of those “The locker room was more packed than the house” scenarios. Since then we’ve had laughs and moments along the way in the Dakotas but have never had the chance to tie up. Maybe I’m nuts, but I think that “The Outlaw vs The Anarchist” makes for a hell of a log line.

This one might take some travelling, however since the United Kingdom is on my separate “Places to Wrestle Before I Retire” list this seems like an easier two-for.  All the preamble to say just how desperately I want to hit the mat with British Heavyweight Legend Doug Williams. After flirting with retirement himself a few years ago he is back with a vengeance and appears to be in incredible condition. A phenomenal catch style grappler with amazing strikes… man, the things I could learn just by locking up. Mr. Williams, it would be an honour.

A few years ago while he was on his international excursion from the DDT promotion in Japan I ended up nose to nose in a battle royal with “The Japanese Beast” Shigehiro Irie. I’m not even sure we ended up getting to trade any blows before the parade of jabrones swarmed us. Regardless, this Winnie the Pooh loving athlete is so well respected and incredibly talented. I have no doubt that he and I would be able to tear into each other and bring crowds to their feets.

I lied about no particular order as I’ve certainly saved these athletes for last.

The current reigning and defending NWA World Champion Nick Aldis has been carrying the banner of the revitalized National Wrestling Alliance for a number of years now with dignity and aplomb. The success of their quarterly Pay Per View events on the FITE app as well as their flagship show NWA POWERRR have been an excellent alternative to other pro wrestling you can find on TV today. A throwback to the glory days of in studio wrestling, Mr. Aldis has been a shining example as champion and in unquestionably someone whom I would love to face. So let’s get Billy on the horn, share another beer and make this deal happen.

The last name on my list today is the only Pipe Dream that I am throwing out there. It’s also a cheat since a few years back I actually had the chance to team up with this man for a Trios Bout right here in Winnipeg. But if by some chance I was able to get in the ring to face Scott “Flash” Norton one on one… man, this is a battle I would LOVE to have. A legend in Japan. An arm wrestling Champion. Yes, a part of the NWO. Championships all over the world. A powerlifting badass like few others. And a gentleman through and through. Mr. Norton, if you’re still taking bookings my schedule can be very easily cleared.

Please follow the links I’ve provided to check out the work and merchandise pages for all of the gentlemen I’ve mentioned above. While there are of course many other wrestlers I’d be honoured to face these are the ones front of mind for me today. If you’ve got anyone you’d like to see me face, feel free to tag em on Twitter, hit up your favourite indy promotions and put a bug in their ears, or just RT and SHARE The heck outta this post.

Thanks for Reading. I’m looking forward to getting back to more Wrestling soon.

AK

Check out the consequences my main character Joe goes through in my Urban Fantasy OVERDRIVE Series at the following retailers. Available in eBook, Paperback and Hardcover.

AMAZON  KOBO  B&N  SMASHWORDS  SCRIBD  APPLE

Also, please consider supporting your favourite Wrestler today by visiting Pro Wrestling Tees and browse to your hearts content. Just, while you’re there, consider looking at my site first willya?

Breaking Down Storytelling, or at least how I Break it Down

I would like to preface this whole discussion with an honest admission: It’s entirely possible that I have zero idea what I am talking about, and that the things that I am about to elucidate on only relate to ME and MY personal preferences in the art of storytelling.

To me storytelling refers to all forms of media. Public Speaking. Books. TV. Film. Music. Political discourse. Theatre and of course, Pro Wrestling. Any time you are presenting an idea or a premise to an audience of any size you engaging in the art of story telling.

The trap I’ve often fallen into with my stories (more specifically early on, thankfully less so now) came from misunderstanding the difference between Plot and Story.

If you watch a lot of movies and start getting into the weeds of how they’re created or learn a little bit about the behind the scenes nature of editing and the like, it’s usually easy to find areas where the action doesn’t line up. Or the characters are disjointed, some things that get set up are disregarded or a scene comes along the way just takes you out of what you’re watching. Inevitably the person in this position considers these moments as being “Plot holes”.

Now, sometimes they are indeed just that. A hole in the plot that defies the premise of what you’re engaging with. If you’re someone who’s not only a consumer of media but someone who wishes to create their own, it is perfectly natural to focus on your plot obsessively. Leaning into a paralysis by analysis whereby you become fixated upon the minutiae of your story. Who does what and when? Where is the MacGuffin set up? How does that twist? Does the action beat work in a way that doesn’t break the laws of physics? We’ve started a timer, we’d better make sure that the action on screen lines up with the countdown, right?

All of these are good things to be worried about and I’m not trying to dismiss them. However when you focus on these types of details too much what you’re missing out on is often the reason why most people consume entertainment in the first place.

They want to be told a Story about people they can relate to.

If you’ve done your job properly and created characters in situations that your audience can picture themselves in where there is conflict, drama and believable emotion this easily glosses over most technical issues or “plot holes” for the audience. Because they want that hook, that emotion, that grit.

It shouldn’t matter if you’re having a financial dispute over the price of coaxium hyperfuel that you can only mine in the bowels of the Kessel Spice Mines. If you get there with characters you believe in and enjoy then you should be happily along for the ride.

Obviously, it’s also easy to fall into the trap in the other direction too. If you focus too much on the story of the characters without taking into consideration their world around them it’s easy to come up with a hodge-podge of disconnected ideas that ultimately leave people feeling unsatisfied.

In the end storytelling comes down to having a clear vision of what you’re trying to say in any given moment. And more importantly it means being able to adjust and be flexible when along the way as you’re developing / breaking your story down you stumble across new elements or ideas that could enhance the tale you’re trying to tell. Sometimes this happens organically.

In the world of pro wrestling or weekly syndicated TV you can often gauge the audience’s reaction to what is happening. If you’re perceptive and willing to roll with their wave of enthusiasm you can find a way to enrich their viewing experience by leaning into characters or scenarios they’re reacting to. Not all at once of course, don’t let your audience tell your story for you. But don’t ignore them either. If people are sitting on their hands and not caring that tells you everything you need to know and you need to re-evaluate if you’re actually creating a story for them or for you.

Now, as a caveat I would like to digress into the world of prose and long form novel writing. While obviously every author in the world would love to have the success of a JK Rowling, Stephen King, Lee Child and many others it is important to realize one thing (from my perspective.) In no other form of media is it more apparent when an author is pandering to an audience and being inauthentic than it is within a novel.

With Film / TV / Live events a bit of pandering is perfectly fine. You’re looking for that immediate engagement and wanting that response. And you need it in order to keep the people coming back on a regular basis. That form of entertainment is very much in the “Churn and Burn” vein.

With a novel it has to come from somewhere with a bit more soul. This doesn’t mean that everything has to be drab, dreary or even deep. But it should at least be evolved in some way where you can bite into your characters and their world and feel it. In no other medium does your story exist more fully than within your audiences’ own imagination and all you have for them are the words on the page for them to experience. So if you’re not giving those words your best effort it’ll come across flat to your readers. Sure, it doesn’t mean you can’t write on a deadline, and no dear readers this isn’t me making an excuse for why I take so long between novels to get a finished product together. But in more visual mediums you can fake it a bit with the writing, make the words super economical and then relying on the other artists you’re working with to help tell your story. In fact, that’s the only way movies / TV / Theatre succeed. In a group setting.

So with that out of the way I think the most important idea I can impart to any other storytellers is to make sure no matter what kind of tale you care to tell, make absolutely certain that the characters all face Consequences for their Actions.

Good, bad, apocalyptic or whatever. Everything they do must come with a cost. If you’re telling a fantasy tale where wizards can conjure up anything out of thin air with no seeming effort you’re shorting the audiences’ ability to connect to that wizard. If you’re bad ass action heroine is able to ninja kick her way through a plethora of fools without breaking a sweat or even getting out of breath, you are robbing the audience the opportunity to feel her pain or stress in that moment of triumph.

Consequences are the key to any good story. For your protagonists, antagonists, bit players, coffee shop attendants… whatever. The more you add consequences to your characters the more it helps to ground whatever is going on to your audience in a way that they can understand. Because we live in the real world, and nothing is easy when you get right down to it.

With consequences your characters echo with your audience and they engage with your story.

And that’s the whole idea, right?

AK

Check out the consequences my main character Joe goes through in my Urban Fantasy OVERDRIVE Series at the following retailers. Available in eBook, Paperback and Hardcover.

AMAZON  KOBO  B&N  SMASHWORDS  SCRIBD  APPLE

Also, please consider supporting your favourite Wrestler today by visiting Pro Wrestling Tees and browse to your hearts content. Just, while you’re there, consider looking at my site first willya?

Defining Success Pt 2 – AKA “The Wrestler”

Much like the previous post, props to Ed, Ron and Producer Bill for putting the bee in my bonnet to want to talk about this concept a bit. If you’re not already listening to “The Greatest Pod” for free wherever you get your podcasts you’re missing out on some fun, nerdy and insightful conversations.

So going, back – on their last Patreon Exclusive podcast the boys went on for a while talking about the challenges they’ve faced trying to break it into the entertainment industry in Los Angeles. Specifically as comedians, writers and TV producers. Not just the obstacles put in front of them by other people and by the natural gatekeepery way the industry works, but by their own personal attitudes and approaches and perceptions.

So setting the Wayback Machine all the way to Sept 1995 for a minute I remember the first time I set foot in a professional wrestling ring. I’ve spoken about that “first day” and the process of training before so I won’t rehash it here – that’s not what the topic at hand is. However I do want to take a bit to reflect on how I was treated and more importantly the way I treated myself at that time (and in many ways still to this day.)

In Sept of 1995 I was 330lbs and hadn’t been doing anything seriously athletic in ... well ... ever. I dropped out of Gym in Grade 11 as soon as that was an option for me. I was on the school curling team – because, Canada – and that was about it. At that time I was barely surviving in First Year University and going through a lot of the disillusionment that many kids that age experience once they are removed from the safety net of public education and thrown headfirst into the Post Secondary Education for Profit world where nobody gives a good God Damn about you so long as you get your tuition payments in on time and make sure to buy the professors textbook only available in the University Bookstore for the low-low price of Go Fuck Yourself.

So when friends of mine heard about the local group of Indy Wrestlers were open to bringing new people in my attitude towards the whole thing was a resounding “Yeah, sure I’ll check it out.”

Yes, huge wrestling fan as a kid. My dad slung beers in the Winnipeg Arena back when the late Nick Bockwinkle was the greatest wrestler alive. I watched all the WrestleMania’s, got caught up on the NWA whenever it came on the free cable tryouts. I turned my GI Joes and Star Wars figures into wrestlers and booked events in the tiny hand made ring Dad made for us out of wood and twine. I booked angles and shows in my bedroom, complete with entrance music and me doing the Play by Play and ring announcing while putting poor toys through their paces. I had a poster of The Rockers in my bedroom (much to my mother’s concern) and was able to converse with the more hard nosed and sporty dudes in school about who the best wrestlers were even though we had nothing else in common.

All this to say, I loved wrestling. But never in a million years did I think that this was something I could do.

To say I was a soft boy would be accurate. While I didn’t get beat up a lot, I certainly got beat up enough. My feelings were on my sleeve, I was openly nerdy, always speaking up in class and got good grades. I might as well have had a sign on my back during the 80s that read “Easy Target.”

So the very concept of a dude like me getting into a world filled with grown men who came from questionable backgrounds, making questionable life choices, who enjoyed hard drinking, gruff actions in a carnival lifestyle … well, it didn’t seem like a fit.

Plus, the wrestling practices were brutal. In 1995 the motto was still “nobody gets in who can’t take the abuse.” And I took a lot of it. Looking back I wonder if it was as bad as I remember and frankly it’s so long ago now it’s difficult to be sure.

But I remember how I felt.

Worthless.

Like I couldn’t do it.

In fairness at the time I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I was months away from being kicked out of University. The girl I was crushing on was about to break my heart and I felt horribly guilty every time I went home to my parents, knowing how hard they’d worked to put money away for my education that I was blowing.

Everyone told me that I was making a mess of my life. Friends told me not to waste my time with wrestling. My dad shook his head in disgust when he discovered what I’d been up to that I kept coming home limping or with new welts and bruises. One of the guys I was training with even told me candidly “You don’t think we’re really gonna be successful at this, do you?”

And truthfully I didn’t.

For many years I would show up at local events, wade through dumb little ego fights and petty politics for the chance to lace up my used combat boots, throw on my cobbled together gear for the chance to take a beating for the dozens in attendance in the hopes of taking away enough money to grab a snack and bus fare home.

So why did I keep this up?

Well, wrestling may not have been my first love. But it was the first thing I felt that loved me back.

Okay, it was a tough love. And a tad abusive at times.

Then I started noticing things.

People in attendance started responding not only to my matches but to me.

While not an Adonis I was certainly becoming fitter with every week of action. As such, my confidence began to grow.

With said confidence, the slings and arrows of the more caustic and arrogant class of wrestler stopped hurting as much. My emotional callous had grown to the point where I could take more things on the chin and keep going without chewing my own liver about it.

I started making contacts with other wrestlers outside of Winnipeg. This was still the late 90s so let’s not get crazy here, but the realization that I was beginning to build a reputation was interesting and rewarding.

Plus I got better at talking to ladies. So… You know.

Of my initial class of wrestlers I am the only one still active. And I have been for 25 years. By most people’s accounting my career would be called a complete waste of time if they only looked as deeply as my bank account – which no, you can’t do that. Don’t ask.

However there’s more to a person’s life and career than that. Especially in professional wrestling.

There are the moments that resonate in your soul that will live with you forever.

-        The Selkirk Winter Carnival in 1997, tagging in the Main Event in front of 500 screaming kids and their families against a couple of real bruising fellows. And knowing with absolute certainty that for the first time in my life I was not only having a good match, I was having a great match that the crowd was 100% invested in.

-        Being an extra for the WWE for the final sold out live events to take place at the legendary Winnipeg Arena months before it was torn down

-       Wrestling on traditional PPV for a (failed) start up company

-       Multiple trips to Japan

-       Matches with legends of the sport

-       Having friends and (yes I’ll say it) fans all over the world who have seen my stuff or interacted with me online

-       Being a member of the Cauliflower Alley Club and being recognized by the Legends who paved the way when I am able to go to the conventions.

Any one of these instances would’ve blown the mind of the fat, pimply 18 year old kid who got his ass kicked the very first time he walked into a ring. And these are just the tip of the iceberg. While I’ve lost count I’m well over 1000 matches by now. Matches in Canada, the USA and Japan. I’ve travelled 1000’s of Kilometres and tried to put smiles on faces everywhere that I’ve gone. Reminding myself of this every now and then is a good thing. Because having the privilege to continue to perform and scrap and entertain is just that.  A privilege.

Every time I get asked to wrestle is in and of itself a success.

And I’m not done yet.

AK

Support your favourite Wrestler today by visiting Pro Wrestling Tees and browse to your hearts content. Just, while you’re there, consider looking at my site first willya? I mean, emotional success is fulfilling but a few sheckles here and there help keep the roof over my kids’ head. J

 

Defining Success Pt 1 – AKA “The Author Origins”

 

First, a shout out to my boys Ed, Ron and Producer Bill for the inspiration to do this post / essay / rambling string of words. On their latest Patreon Only Podcast episode of “The Greatest Pod” (subscribe fools, support good people!) they took some time to express not only their frustrations with succeeding in the entertainment industry, but the pitfalls, challenges, own goals and more that they’ve experienced along the way.

And it got me thinking (a dangerous pastime I know) about my life experiences. How I’ve personally moved the goal posts on how I’ve defined success or failure in my own life and career. What I want out of life going forward. And most importantly, what I want to be spending my time and energy on now that I’m officially into my dreaded “middle age.”

In my office at home there is a file folder tucked away. In this folder are the block letter scribblings of a 20 year old me, frantically jotted down while he was supposed to be working on his actual job trying to convince people to switch long distance providers in a too bright cubicle farm. These scribblings laid out a plan for 9 fantasy novels (3 sets of trilogies!) that I firmly believed would change my life and make my dreams come true. I believed this because I had accomplished a monumental feat, completing an actual manuscript. Yes, my skinny fat and hyper nerdy ass had written almost 150K words and put them in some semblance of order. Initially this had been inspired by a wicked DnD Campaign (though in truth it was an unrequited love letter to a young lady who would ultimately break my heart – twice) and I was firm in my belief that any road to success in my future was going to be paved by my imagination and willingness to put words to word processor.

Then came trying to submit it to Publishers. And let me tell you, if you think that this is difficult in 2021 when there are agents and editors on Twitter ASKING you to pitch to them you have ZERO idea what it was like back in 1996. When Windows 95 was only a thing you had if you had money and email was in its very infancy.

Plus. I live in Winnipeg. Publishing houses here are awesome but by their very nature incredibly small presses.

Regardless, I went to the library. Took out a book on “submitting your manuscript” and put together 5 packages for major publishers. Because, I didn’t want to limit myself to only 1 offer naturally.

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what happened next.

No, I don’t have any of my rejections letters. Because the 2 I received back came easily 6 months later and the others never bothered to respond.

Frankly I don’t blame them. My manuscript was bloated, huge and pretty much a vanity project. The kind where I tried to write the wrongs (perceived or validated) in my life. Where I wanted to live out a fantasy that made up for the struggles that I was certain only I was dealing with. Financially, personally and otherwise.

Failure is a tough pill to swallow. Especially when you believed in your heart that you are destined for greater things.

There are still 2 computer paper printed copies of that original manuscript in existence. One of them sits in the drawer with that “9 Book Outline” I mentioned earlier. The other is on the bookshelf of the heart breaking girl in question (yes, we got over each other and remain dear friends to this day.)

That original manuscript sat in desk drawers or in storage totes and on an ancient floppy disk drive until 2012.

That was the year I learned about modern self publishing.

Unlike the method peddled prior to the advent of eBooks where the upfront cost was prohibitive and every aspect of the financing, marketing and distribution of your words rested solely upon the writer – eBook self publishing was much easier on the pocketbook. As such, the competition in the field is disgusting, and like most aspects of the internet is overfilled with hacks, smut and hastily thrown together schlock disguised as “art.”

With that said there is also great work out there. Very personal and well written work that clearly means a lot to the artist. The kind of work that would be terrifying to commit to writing and infinitely scarier to put out into the world for scrutiny and derision.

It completely removed the gatekeepers of the publishing world. It made it possible for a guy like me to live his dream.

The first thing I ever published was a gothic Vampire novella I wrote initially as a character examination from my brief foray into LARPing. It’s rough but dark and available to this day if anyone is interested. And while it scared me to put it into the universe it inspired me to do more.

So I wrote “Cowboy Ending.” A more personal tale derived in part from my real life experiences, struggles and fantasies. A book inspired by the artists who inspire me set in an Urban Fantasy version of my home city. And while it took a bit to gain traction, and I still had to invest in things like a proper Cover Artist and a bit of online marketing – the feedback has been incredibly rewarding.

Which was when I did the scariest thing I’ve ever done creatively. I opened that drawer in my office. Dusted off the frayed binder holding my precious manuscript together and found a computer that would still read the disk drives from the late 90s so I wouldn’t have to rewrite it all from scratch.

While “The Book of Korum” is still a beast, clocking in at over 120K words, it’s definitely more streamlined than the hatchet job a 20 year old kid managed to cobble together. I still have the idea of maybe going back to that world and those characters one day, but life is busy and I have other goals and ideas too.

Regardless, that “failed” piece of art I created in my youth has now been downloaded well over 1,000 times by readers. Lots of freebies and giveaways for sure, but it’s probably bought me lunch a few times over the years. However none of that shit matters because the success comes in the doing.

Do the Work. Because that’s the only thing you can control.

When you do the work to the best of your abilities you will know it. The accomplishment of the work is its own reward. It is its own success.

That feeling is what sustains me and what drives me when I want to give it all up. Stop building spec scripts, stop going to the gym and working out for wrestling or building new layouts for future books / stories / projects.

Because while my work isn’t making me rich enough to pay my mortgage, it makes me rich enough to feel great when I see smiles on people’s faces when they take a chance on my words.

And frankly, that’s really the only reason to do anything.

(However, scoring a contract with DelRey Publishing complete with TV / Film options would be outstanding. So if you’re looking for things to option from independent authors please hit up the DMs willya?)

AK

Download your copy of “The Book of Korum” at the following retailers for only $0.99!
AMAZON  KOBO  B&N  SMASHWORDS  APPLE  SCRIBD

All the Feels ... (This is still something the kids say, Right?)

Completely unsolicited yesterday I received the best possible review for my book I could ever have gotten from my writing professor back in college.

The fact that he not only took the time to seek out the book, read all 100K-ish words of it and email me directly means so very much and moved me in a way that I am rarely moved.

I hope that your week turns out to be as rewarding as mine has already started out to be.

AK