Yeah, so - it's been a minute. A challenging minute if I'm being honest.
In spite of my best efforts to sit and write and express myself and my thoughts, frankly - I've been at a loss for words.
Still am in many ways. I have the urge to write, but the trepidation of wondering how much to say.
At the beginning of September I had a particularly bad moment. Sent me into a bad place mentally. No, not self-harming- so please, not like that. But definitely to a challenging spot. one where I didn't know how to handle myself.
After spending the majority of my adult life in what felt like a state of "need to" I hit a minor breaking point. Well, I'm calling it minor, but it didn't feel like it at the time.
At the urging of my loved ones I went to see my physician and had some tests done. I'm glad that I did.
Insomnia. Dangerously high blood pressure. Anxiety. Migraine level headaches.
So, I've been prescribed some gentle meds and lots of rest. It took me all of September to properly learn how to sleep again - I know, right? And most of October to prioritize the things that are really important to me.
Family. Health. Peace of mind.
So that's gonna be my focus for a bit. trying to get myself better so that I can BE better for my family. So many times I've said these words out loud. To myself and to others. But for the first time in a long time ... I'm going to actually try and follow through.
Because people love me. and need me. And I'm no longer going to be "just getting by" in my efforts to be there for them.
We are no good to the people we love if we aren't good to ourselves.
Important to remember.
AK
